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Humorous Brithenig translation project.
Here's a bit of a Brithenig translation for you all. If a good clean
Catholic joke is not to your taste, then read no further.
Ill prestr new.
Ill prestr new er dan narfus a sew prif offrenn ke ne pothef parolar ben
rhen. Inawant di lla affarencia segunn in ill pylffid, ys rhuaf all
monseniwr ke pothrew rhilaesarsi. Ill monseniwr lle dith: "ill Doneg ill
proesif, sa both aydarti si dy bon alch fodka in lla baiol. Dibos di dew
o drui sorfidd, sa ddef ir fen." Ill Doneg ill proesif, ill prestr new
segu´f lla sugestiwn dill monseniwr, e mab car ys parolaf! Ś ne osstant,
cann ys tornaf a lla rheitheir, ys discobrif yn garth dill monseniwr:
1. Ill temp ill proesif, sorfith n'inglyth rhen;
2. Af deg commannfent, ne rhen dewddig;
3. Af dewddig Affoissul, ne rhen deg;
4. Nu ne referen rhen all Cryg comodd ill "Grann Ti";
5. Lla gracia recommendad inawant di mannugar n'es rhen "greiden dew per
6. Ne refeir rhen a nustr Salwadur, Iesu Crist, e sew affoissul comodd
"I.C. e llo Meib";
7. Dewydd mawaf a Goliadd, ys ne calchaf sew cul;
8. Ill Padr, Ffeil e hYsperid Saeth ne rhen se referenn nonc comodd
"Grann Taddo, Yniwr e'll Bugun";
9. Sempr saes lla Gwirgen Maria, ne rhen nonc lla Maria cun lla ceresa;
10. E h-yllif, mai ne muinisaf rhen, ill Merchyr ill proesif, afra yn
gonthuyst dill traer llo ddulch a lla egluis Saeth Pedr, ne rhen yn
gonthuyst dill traer llo Pedr a lla egluis Saeth Dulchen.
prestr, priest; narfus, nervous; pylffid, pulpit; monseniwr,
monsignior; rhilaesarsi, relax; fodka, vodka; baiol, water pitcher;
sorfidd, sip (n); seguir, follow; mab car!, boy!; ne osstant,
nevertheless; rheitheir, rectory; sorfir, sip (v); inglythar, gulp (v);
affoissul, apostle; grew, grub (coll.); mawar, slay; calchar, kick;
cul, ass; taddo, daddy; bugun, spook or ghost; ceresa, cherry;
conthuyst, contest; ddulch, taffy; Saeth Dulchen, St. Dulcian.
I'll leave that for those of you who care to puzzle it out and put the
But before going on, why not try the All New "It Fell In the Cat Box But
It's Still Good" special for a dollar at Sham Harga's House of Ribs;
where "We Change the Fat Anually for Your Dining Pleasure!"
The New Priest.
The new priest was so nervous at his first Mass that he could hardly speak
well at all. Before his second appearance in the pulpit, he asked the
monsegnior how he could relax. The monsegnior said to him: "Next Sunday,
it might help you if you put some vodka in the water pitcher. After one
or two sips, it'll go fine." Next Sunday, the new priest followed the
monsignior's suggestion, and boy could he talk! -- never the less, when he
returned to the rectory, he found a letter from the monsegnior:
1. Next time, sip, don't gulp;
2. There are 10 commandments, not 12;
3. There are 12 Apostles, not 10;
4. We never refer to the Cross as the "Big T";
5. The recommended grace before meals is not "rub-a-dub-dub thanks for
6. Don't refer to our Saviour, Jesus Christ, and his apostles as "J.C.
and the Boys";
7. David slew Goliath, he didn't kick his ass;
8. The Father Son and Holy Ghost are never referred to as "Big Daddy,
Junior and the Spook";
9. It's always The Virgin Mary, never Mary with the Cherry;
10. And last, but not least, next Wednesday there will be a taffy pulling
contest at St. Peter's, not a Peter pulling contest at St. Taffy's.
The Brithenig adheres pretty close to the English, except in #10 where the
word for taffy is "ddulch", and the closest saint is St. Dulcian.